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Abstinence Defined Some people think of abstinence as "saying no to sexual intercourse" or "waiting until you are married to have sexual intercourse" or "you are way too young be sexually active." However, abstinence has a lot more definitions than those three listed above. And, the level of abstinence varies from person to person. Abstinence means waiting to choose the right person, setting and time in your life for you to have sexual intercourse. A decision to be abstinent may be one for years, an evening or any time in the middle. Only you can decide what is best for you. If you do not feel that it is the right time in your life for sexual intercourse or the right person for you to be sexually active with, then that is reason enough to abstain. Abstinence, although everyone may not agree, is not boring! Sexual behavior and attitudes are not always about sexual intercourse. Abstinence may include kissing and holding hands only. Or, perhaps you feel that you can include intimate touching but want to abstain from other sexual activities such as sexual intercourse. What you decide to include in your sexual activity levels will come from your reasons for selecting abstinence. Perhaps you want to abstain from sexual intercourse because you want to avoid an unintended pregnancy. Or maybe you have already engaged in sexual intercourse, but have now decided to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage. Whatever your reasons for choosing abstinence, you need to make your decisions about sexual activity levels and what is right for you before you become physically involved with someone. Waiting until you are making out with your boy/girlfriend is not the right time to make decisions about what sexual activities you are comfortable with! And, despite the fact that you may have already been in sexual relationships in the past does not mean that with each new relationship you have to be sexually active. The beauty about abstinence is that you can decide on it at any point in your life! Abstinence also has many benefits, both physically and emotionally. Abstinence gives you 100% protection against pregnancy and a 100% protection against sexually transmitted diseases (as long as no vaginal secretions, blood or semen are exchanged). In addition, abstinence allows you time to get to know your boy/girlfriend and discuss how you both feel about sexual activity. Being abstinent can also spare you from heartache. Sexual intercourse is not only about the physical feelings, but rather the emotions that are involved. Remaining abstinent can allow you time to explore those feelings and decide if that person is really the right person for you to be sexually involved with. And by being abstinent it does not mean that you are "prude", or "cold-hearted" or a non-sexual person. Sexual intercourse is only one of many ways to show your feelings and sensual self. By choosing to be abstinent, you are now free to seek other imaginative ways to declare your feelings and demonstrate your sexual self! Remember that abstinence is a personal choice. It is a choice that you can make at any time in your life. You can make abstinence a weeklong, yearlong or an any-long decision until you find the right time for you to become sexually active. And think you can only talk to your friends about tough issues like abstinence and sexuality? Think again! Try talking to your parents to get the straight and honest scoop. Your parents may have things to say to you about abstinence, sex, values, marriage, and morals. |